what it feels like to not understand english

In this lesson we're looking at iii common mistakes to avoid  when you don't understand someone who is speaking in English language.

Do you sometimesstruggle to sympathize native speakers?! Even the near advanced English learners can struggle to understand them. It'snaughttoexistabackof – half the time, native speakers don't understand other native speakers!

Here are 3 things that you should avoid doing when you don't empathise someone:

  • don't pretend that you understand when you don't
  • don't get mute and terminate the conversation
  • don't overuse:Can you lot repeat that please?

READ ON FOR THE LESSON!

Read & Listen!

Comprehension of native speakers is difficult – even for advanced learners

My husband, Enri was in London final week for work, to meet with an agency that his visitor uses. At present, Enri, (I think) speaks proficiently in English language; he'sextremelyfluent and has abroadvocabulary and he even knows some Scottish words which is pretty impressive.

His listening skills on the other manusaren't equallystrong as hisspokenskills. We pretty much have the contrary thing going on – my comprehension in Italian is really strong, whereas my speaking not so much. And the reasons for this arevaried (and that's some other story!)

I digress … he comes back from Londontired and, let's be honest, a piddling grumpy *. I asked what was up, and he said that he and his colleagues, who are Swiss and Italian, had had aexistent struggle* agreement the English guys during the coming together. I asked what the main problem had been, and he said themain thing for him, wasspeed. Whereas, his colleagues, who are not married to a Scottish English language instructor, were also finding thevocabulary and breezy expressions that the native speakers were using,reallydifficult tounderstand.

*grumpy =bad-tempered and irritable

*struggle = fight, difficulty

Don't understand? It happens to ALL of the states!

I recollect nomatter*  howstiff your English level is, there willalwaysbetimes when you don't sympathize something that is existence said.It happens between native speakers all the time. Mayhap we didn't hear properly, or possibly nosotros just don't understand what the person is getting at .*

*no matter =regardless of

*to get at =to imply

When not agreement causes Feet

That said, one of the biggest problems my students face is when not agreement isanxiety.  Probably more then inprofessional situations, at piece of work. However, if you areshy like I am, information technology's possible that even insocialsituations, not understanding can crusade youstress oranxiety.

This lesson is going to await atthree common mistakes that nosotros make and I want to show that these reactions to non understanding areineffective and unhelpful when you are in this kind of situation.

And if y'all larnnot to do them, information technology will helpkeep theanxiety to aminimum.

don't understand English

Read & Heed!

1. Don't nod and smile and sit there feelingleft out* of the discussion

*to experience left out =to feel excluded

Let me tell you a story – many many years ago, I was at a dinner party with my fellow, and his friends. All the grouping were Italian, I was theonlyforeigner, and I probably had an A2 level of Italian at that time -and thenpreintermediate. I could follow simple discussions and I could speak in a simple way, and I was able to join in somewhat.

What happened was, at a certain point of the conversation they started talking 'polizia' which means law in Italian. But you see I was getting more and morepuzzled, because they kept repeating this give-and-take…simply in thecontext of thechat ….polizia…blfhfjahfjf….polizia …jdsjkghksgj….Information technology just had no sense – and I really couldn't understandwhy everyone waslaughing.

So I simply laughed along, nodded my head, smiled, ahahahhah….But inside I was feeling left out and maybe a little bit stupid. By the time I had formulated my question in my caput considering I wanted to say, Wlid does 'police' accept to practise with this story?…by the time I plucked up the backbone*  to ask this, the conversation had alreadymovedon and it wastoolate to bring it up once more, and render to that point.

*to pluck up (the) courage =to strength yourself to exist brave

Now, information technologyupset me considering I am ashy person, I didn't feel confident with my Italian…  just what had upset me the mostwasn't that I hadn't understood… information technology's that Ihadn'tspokenup. I didn't have theconfidence to say 'I'm lost, I don't sympathise'.

In the automobile afterward dinner I asked Enri, what that story was all about ….Ah?! No, no no  'pulizia! – cleaning- ahhhhhh not 'constabulary!'….

Ok! …. that fabricated sense!

Then what SHOULD I have done?

I could accept simply said 'polizia???' –And the answer would have been: 'No! 'Pulizia!!!' and maybe everyone would've giggled … I might have been embarrassed for a second…. only theconversation would have gone on, I would accept been included and itwouldn'thavebeenabigbargain.

Now… depending on the context or the environment you're in,mayhap information technology'snon such abigdeal if you don't sympathize every single story.  Specially being in the visitor offriends, a social gathering, at dinner – like my example, or down the pub…..Maybe the important thing is existence part of the social grouping and having fun.

At piece of work we tin't afford Non to sympathise

It is ahorriblefeeling when y'all think yous havemisunderstood something, when people have expectations of yous but youaren'tcertain about something considering you couldn't understand, if yous act on something that yous're not sure near information technology could bepotentially be adisaster.

Therefore, thenext time you are in this state of affairs,speak upwardly andadmit that you are not following. Don't sit there and pretend that everything is ok. A little bit of embarrassment if improve than a large tour of anxiety!

Master how to have successful conversations in stressful situations …

even when you don't understand the English!

Masterclass manage conversations in English

Read & Listen!

two. Don't freeze up and become mute

Rabbit-in-headlights

In this scenario you are like a rabbit in headlights  – this expression ways that you are sofrightened orsurprised that youtin'tmotility and youtin can'tretrieve – you have that expression and yousfreeze.

This happens when you don't understand something and you're probably already feeling a bitnervous. So maybe y'all're speaking to a native English speaker, who is speaking actually fast, or mayhap they accept anaccent that you've never heard earlier and you lot tin't empathise the words.

What can happen in this state of affairs is that yous are asked a question – you don't know what to say – yous freeze –and the conversations stops – it'due south bad-mannered and yous feel like an idiot. Has this ever happened to you? It's happened to me more times than I'd like to acknowledge.So how do nosotros deal with information technology?

Communication is anybody's responsibility

The first thing to call back is thatcommunication is everyone'south responsibility. It isn't 100% your responsibility to understand – it's likewise the speaker'due south job to make himself or herself understood.

This is anessential mindset change that tin can help communicate moreeffectively.

Native speakers can be clueless!

Clueless meansunaware,insensitive. Imagine yourself in thespeaker'due southshoes. Let's say you are from the UK and you talking to the real you lot at the coffee machine – maybe you're chatting about what you did at the weekend or something like that. So the UK version of you hears the real you lot speak English. You seem pretty fluent!  The United kingdom of great britain and northern ireland version of you is completelyinsensitive to what it's similar speaking in astrange linguistic communication, because you are used to the world speaking in English language to you.

In fact, the majority of native speakers don't speak a second linguistic communication … yep, I studied French at school for all of 3 minutes, just in anoncommunicative way and I'm lucky if I tin can still remember one or two words in French. In fact, going a chip further – most of us are not even aware of our ain language. I will bet you coin if yous ask a regular English person to explicate the present perfect or inquire them what a phrasal verb is …. the majority of them won't know. Nosotros don't learn English language grammar properly at school.

Therefore, for whatever reason; arrogance, ignorance, whatever the reason;it is probable that the person you are speaking to doesn't understand that yous are struggling to understand. They hear you speak some English and they presume that you are fluent.

Consequently, by putting yourself in his shoes right or wrong – it could beweird for that person, if y'allsuddenlygomute. He is probably going to think you are a chipstrange, orrude.

This is where we come up back to communication being a ii-way street. Sometimes you demand to tell people what's going on in your caput!You need to communicate that y'all don't understand.

And it isALWAYS okay to admit it. So the lesson is, instead of freezing – make the person you are speaking to aware. Once more, in that location are many means to do this, and you'll find lots of examples in the guide, only for now, it's enough to say a simple smile and a little amends can become a long way:

 I'one thousand deplorable I don't understand.

-I'one thousand non following, could you lot speak a bit more slowly please?

Moreover, the reaction of anormalperson will probably be, Oh yep, sorry! Of course!

At present, I want you to think about these questions: Take you lot ever felt like a rabbit in headlights when speaking English? Take yous ever frozen and gone mute? What happened? Were you able to go along the conversation or did the conversation end there? What could you practice differently next time?

Feel free to leave any thoughts in the comments.

Read & Listen!

three. Don't overuse 'Can you lot repeat that please?'.

Can-you-repeat-that-please

I know this will exist controversial, merely I think this is probably 1 of the most ineffective phrases in English!

At present don't go me incorrect – if I'grand having a face-to-face conversation, ane-to-one, or even in a small group, and I say 'Tin can you repeat that please?' the chances are that you lot'll see from my face up, that I haven't understood. So sometimes it does work.

If even so you are in a larger coming together, and so more people, a chip of anarchy perhaps, noise or you're on the phone, or on a conference call …

It rarely works! Why not?:

These phrases: Can you repeat that? orI'chiliad sorry, I didn't catch that. orTin can you lot say that once more? tin exist interpreted to hateful that yousdidn'thear something,not that you lotdidn'tempathise it.

The speaker is likely to repeat themselves at exactly the same speed, using exactly the aforementioned words and using exactly the same tone.

Now if you didn't understand because there are words in there yous don't know and you can't get information technology from the context – you're not going to magically understand it the second or the third fourth dimension round. Information technology's like my 'polizia' story from point number 1. They kept saying that word over and over  -… and I keptmisunderstanding it over and over.

In a business context, what happens? You enquire someone to repeat, they do, you however don't sympathise, perchance you inquire them to repeat again, same thing happens and you can be left withal unclear nigh the meaning.In that location'south only then many times you tin can say 'tin you echo' and of course in the moment, you can showtime to feel a scrapfrustrated, maybe a bitnervous. Effectively the communicationbreaksdown.

Therefore, it's much moreeffective to reformulate or to inquire fordescription and and so on. If youdo want them to repeat exactly what they said, you lot could inquire themCan you echo that more slowly please?

Y'all can learn more abouthow to reformulate,how toutilise this technique, in our Masterclass: manage conversations in stressful situations

Determination!

3 strategies when you don't understand English

Kerin Goodall Founder English Digital Academy

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